I'm going to come out and say, with absolute certainty, that I have the greatest relationship with my parents that any girl could ever have. Besides being amazing people in general, the 'rents are a delicate balance of personalities, such that it maintains my sanity. A perfect example: November of 2003. I had been in Chicago for about a month and I called home bawling my eyes out, basically in hysterics. Things weren't panning out well in the big city--I was lonely, broke, sad, discouraged, and depressed. I felt like I was losing my mind. I call home, because of course they can fix anything.
My mom answers, senses my distress and utters the words that wrap me in an electric blanket:
"What's wrong, baby?"
I proceed to sob, barely getting out words, not making any sense, trying to convey to her how miserable I am. Her immediate reaction was for me to pack up my things and get my ass home. She would take care of me. Yes! Mommy will make it all better.
After a few minutes, my dad gets on the phone. He heard my mom's advice and quickly intervened. The voice of reason. He tried to listen to me, but like most men, he gets all flustery when a woman is in crying mode.
His reaction, "What, you mean just quit? You've only been there a month. You made this decision, packed everything up and now you are there trying to make a life for yourself. Sure, you can come home anytime, but when you look back on this in a couple years, you'll kick yourself for not sticking it out. You need to prove to yourself that you can do this. That you can make it. You can't just give up when things get hard, you'll regret it."
And here I am, 2 years later, secretly thanking that man everyday for talking some sense into my delusional, PMS-riddled brain that day.
So, my parents came to Chicago this past weekend. It was their second visit in 2 years with the first not counting because it lasted less than 24 hours.
Reason #5,456,678 why I adore my father: he is THE only man on this planet that can pull off jeans that are
thisclose to acid-wash and a Dad sweater. And still strike me as the most adorable man in the greater Chicago area.
My dad and I have a very close relationship. Even though I am essentially my mother's clone, I did somehow, thankfully, pick up my father's sarcasm, wit and bone dry sense of humor. And a little of his laidback nature. Just a little. We're peas in a pod, people. That man rules my world. It's becoming increasingly difficult to find a guy out there that holds a candle to him...he rocks
that much.
And really, there is nothing better than, after telling your parents about a big promotion, having your dad come up to you, put his hands on your shoulders, look you in the eye, and in the most genuine way say, "I am so proud of you." And then give you a big bear hug. Haven't stopped thinking about that for 3 days. It kinda makes me want to run for President.
Not neglecting the woman from whose loins I sprang forth (well, not technically, I was an emergency cesarean section), my mom and I are more like sisters than anything else. We bicker, fight, yell, etc. Despite our fiery, explosive personalities, she is practically my best friend (wow, sappy). Whether it's for recipes or life advice, she's always there to help. This woman bears the wisdom of a thousand Buddhas. When I need a reality check, I call her. She gives it to me straight, even, and especially when, it's not what I want to hear. She keeps me level-headed and reminds me how strong I am when I'm having those days when I'm not so sure.
For ten years my mom has been battling lupus, an autoimmune disease in which the body recognizes normal tissue as foreign and then goes in for the attack. In my mom's case, it is the joints in her hands. What started out ten years ago as some annoying pain that she could control without medication, has progressed to persistent pain, daily medication and frequent, sudden loss of muscle control. Things just fall right out of her hand. On several occasions, this has happened while operating her heavy artillery of curling irons and left nice burns on her forehead.
What she didn't tell me until Saturday is that in the past 6 weeks her lupus has severely progressed and is attacking her legs. I was such a bitch to her on Friday night when she was lagging behind and complaining of being tired. I thought she was just being difficult and whiney and I was livid. If I'd only known that her legs are in so much pain that walking two blocks is torture. She has to take elevators because steps are nearing impossible.
The lupus thing is just the icing on the cake of 3 horrific years for my family. I don't know how they keep on everyday. I don't like to admit this, but I think that when I made my decision to move to Chicago, even though it was seemingly for love at the time, somewhere deep down I was running away from the problems that began while I was a senior in college. The three months I spent at home after graduating gave me a real dose of what they were going through and it was not something that I wanted to be stuck in. All of that negativity and hardship was not something that I wanted to bear. Is it horrible to run from family problems to start a fresh, new life for yourself? Are you ditching out on people that you love or saving yourself? I wrestle with these questions and worry about my family every night, as I toss and turn until the early morning hours.
Having them in Chicago was awesome. It got them away from their troubles, if only for a couple of days, and it gave me a chance to have them here in my hood. They fit very nicely, I must say (well, minus the acid-wash denim). I kinda wish they would move here. I miss them. They've already called 3 times since they left to tell me what a wonderful time they had. Hello, electric blanket.
Wow. I didn't mean for this post to get all deep, it was originally intended to just highlight my dad's stellar fashion choices. Kudos to those who actually read the whole thing.